"Look, man, all I am is a trumpet player."
Miles DavisSeptember 1962
"Donald Trump is a snake."
Leona HelmsleyNovember 1990
"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
Robin WilliamsJanuary 1992
"The White House has only the flimsiest grasp on social reality. It has no idea how bad a problem we could have in four years."
Pat MoynihanSeptember 1998
"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it."
Dick CavettMarch 1971
"I've been getting hate mail from the White House for years. You never have to worry yourself about whether you have good contacts with any administration. They have to deal with a columnist for The New York Times or the Washington Post or any major newspaper. They can't hang up and not get back to you."
William SafireNovember 1992
"If people are serious about revolution, they have to wage a revolution for all oppressed people."
Joan BaezJuly 1970
"This country has been strip-mined by rich and powerful interests. If you don't like what they're doing, don't just sit there. Vote them out."
Ralph NaderJune 1992
"White America needs a demon to scare it's own population to the polls. They need a bogeyman to say boo."
Sister SouljahOctober 1992
"The one thing that drove me nuts all these years -- and I still get it -- is that wretched line that everybody throws at you: " It's much easier to get something with honey than with vinegar." Well, it isn't. It isn't. Being nice gets you nothing in this country, politically. Government responds to one thing only, and that is pressure."
Larry KramerSeptember 1993
"We are eliminating poverty in this country faster than any society ever."
William F. Buckley, Jr.May 1970
"It's easier to censor some kid who's swearing about poverty than it is to stop poverty."
Willie NelsonNovember 2002
"I discovered masturbation to orgasm when I was about 13, and I was sure nobody else had ever done it."
Erica JongSeptember 1975
"I had a patent on masturbation when I was 12. I thought I invented it."
Roman PolanskiDecember 1971
"I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizer or a bottle of Jack Daniel's."
Frank SinatraFebruary 1963
"If we burn ourselves out with drugs or alcohol, we won't have long to go in this business."
John BelushiMay 1977
"I'm naturally throbbing."
Woody AllenMay 1967
"When I was 16 years old, I fucked Warren Beatty. Just like that. I did it because my girlfriends were so crazy about him, and so was my mother."
CherDecember 1988
"I found Christ. I had a revelation while I was watching Monday Night Football."
Terry BradshawMarch 1980
"Remember, Jesus was on Eighth Avenue with the prostitutes. He wasn't uptown or in Washington, D.C."
Martin ScorseseApril 1991
"I don't think there's anything sweeter on earth than scaring the living shit out of people."
Stephen KingJune 1983
"We're telling the terrorists, 'You're not going to take our freedoms away. We're going to do it ourselves'."
Michael MooreJuly 2004
"I've never met a black nigger - so black he looks purple - that can talk and think. All the really black niggers are Uncle Toms or revolutionists, or they want to loaf, loot and rape"
George Lincoln RockwellApril 1966
"I'm not colorless - I'm black. It's not something I consciously think about. It just is. It's like having a dick. You don't think about having a dick. You just have one."
Whoopi GoldbergJune 1987
"Christ wasn't white. Christ was black."
Malcolm XMay 1963
"I don't feel guilty that five or ten generations ago these people were slaves. Now, I'm not condoning slavery. It's just a fact of life."
John WayneMay 1971
"I'm not homosexual."
Edward KochApril 1982
"I have nothing against homosexuals. You should fuck whoever the fuck you feel like fucking."
Eddie MurphyFebruary 1990
"I shall never cease to be sensual - even on my deathbed. If the doctor is young and handsome, I shall draw him into my arms."
Tennessee WilliamsApril 1973
"I'd like to be a song and dance man."
Walter CronkiteJune 1973
"I've always wanted to be Brigitte Bardot."
Bob DylanMarch 1966
"The censors say they're protecting the family unit in America, when the reality is, if you suck a tit, you're an X, but if you cut it off with a sword, you're a PG"
Jack NicholsonApril 1972
"There's an unfortunate obsession in this country with mammary glands. No matter how fantastic a girl's breasts are, if that's all she's got, they just hang there like two worthless tits."
Raquel WelchJanuary 1970
"I am a mass of contradictions."
Richard BurtonSeptember 1963
"I am a mass of contradictions."
Barbra StreisandOctober 1977
"Our white brothers must be made to understand that nonviolence is a weapon fabricated of love. It is a sword that heals."
Martin Luther King, Jr.January 1965
"Whites in this country have reacted to the demands of blacks only after disorder. Until Watts blew up, Los Angeles was not prepared to do much about it."
William Sloane CoffinAugust 1968
"Daddy, why do you have to go to jail so much?' I told her that I was involved in a struggle."
Martin Luther King Jr.January 1965
"They're the first to live in a total mass-media-oriented world, and every night when they turn on the TV and the news comes on, they see the almost unbelievable hypocrisy and deceit and even outright idiocy of our national leaders and the corruption and disintegration of all our institutions, from the police and courts to the White House itself. Their society appears to be crumbling and they see themselves as no more than small failures within the larger failure. All their old values seem to have deserted them, leaving them rudderless in a sea of social chaos. Believe me, this is good organizational material."
Saul Alinsky March 1972
"We’ve never worried about numbers. In the market place, Apple is trying to focus the spotlight on products, because products really make a difference."
Steve JobsFebruary 1985
"One thing people underestimate is how markets don't allow anyone to do anything except make better and better products. There's not much leeway."
Bill GatesJuly 1994
"The human race may well become extinct before the end of the century."
Bertrand RussellMarch 1963
"Racism, pollution and the rest of it are themselves very close to extinction."
R. Buckminster FullerFebruary 1972
"The great American formula for sex is: a kiss on the lips, a hand on the breasts and a dive for the pelvis."
Dr. William MastersNovember 1979
"I'm a nymphomaniac of the heart."
Gabriel GarciaFebruary 1983
"I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged."
Jackie GleasonDecember 1962
"When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday - cash me out."
Frank SinatraFebruary 1963
"Most of the class clowns in my high school are doing time now.""
David LettermanOctober 1984
"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times."
Jimmy CarterNovember 1976
"You understand, of course, that everything I say is horseshit."
Kurt VonnegutJuly 1973
"I'm sure if somebody were pointing a gun at me and I were standing there with a six-pack, I'd say, Care for one?"
Clint EastwoodFebruary 1974
"I believe that all of us ought to retire relatively young."
Fidel CastroJanuary 1967
"The Soviet Union is going to have a human-rights explosion. You'll have hundreds of thousands of dissidents."
Andrew YoungJuly 1977
"Sometimes even powerlessness has a power of its own. Who is it who took India? Some guy in his underwear"
Jerry Brown,April 1976
"God is good when He gives us a grilled steak."
Anthony BurgessSeptember 1974
"I've never been to an orgy, honestly. If I was invited to one, I'd be the guy they sent out for cold cuts"
Woody AllenMay 1967
"How long can you be cute."
Goldie HawnJanuary 1985
"Big nations are like chickens. They like to make noises, but very often it is no more than squabbling."
Dr. Albert SchweitzerDecember 1963
"I'll always stay connected with Apple."
Steve JobsFebruary 1985
"Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will."
Johnny CarsonDecember 1967
"I'm a megalomaniac."
Roman PolanskiDecember 1971
"I don't need bodyguards."
Jimmy HoffaDecember 1975
"If I were courageous, I would have killed Qaddafi when I interviewed him"
Oriana FallaciNovember 1981
"No national political party is going to nominate another right-wing candidate for a long time."
Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.May 1966
"A man has a sense of detachment from his penis. He walks around with a stranger in his pants."
Gay TaleseMay 1980
"I have a resentment that when people meet you, they're meeting some asshole actor."
Marlon BrandoJanuary 1979
"I'm sort of hot-blooded. That doesn't mean necessarily I'm promiscuous. It means I really enjoy sex."
John TravoltaDecember 1978
"I'm a very oral person. I like licking a lot. I also like barking."
Erica JongSeptember 1975
"Bush is into the Contra business up to his eyeballs."
Gore VidalDecember 1987
"I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap."
Billy CrystalMarch 1988
"After all these investigations, that's exactly what they're going to find out: This is a great department."
Daryl GatesAugust 1991
"I know that if you leave dishes in the sink, they get sticky and hard to wash the next day."
Arnold SchwarzeneggerJanuary 1988
"Death comes along like a gas bill one can't pay."
Anthony BurgessSeptember 1974
"I couldn't survive my own pessimism if I didn't have some kind of sunny little dream. ... "
Kurt VonnegutJuly 1973
"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
John LennonJanuary 1981
"I've never seen black men with fine white women. They be ugly. Mugly, dogs. And you always see white men with good-looking black women."
Spike LeeJuly 1991
"When I was in junior high school, the teacher voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair."
Sylvester StalloneSeptember 1978
"Ain't never been another fighter like me. Ain't never been no nothing like me."
Cassius ClayOctober 1964
"I don't believe in leaving anything to be inherited."
Robert MaxwellOctober 1991
"Leona Helmsley is a truly evil human being."
Donald TrumpMarch 1990
"I am a spy of life."
Lech WalesaFebruary 1982
"I'm not apt to be getting married in the near future and my lifestyle isn't apt to dramatically change as a result of any new relationship."
Hugh HefnerJanuary 1974
"My reaction to porn film is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live."
Erica JongSeptember 1975
"Are there any writers on the literary scene whom I consider truly great? Yes: Truman Capote."
Truman CapoteMarch 1968
"I love gentiles. In fact, one of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting."
Mel BrooksOctober 1966
"I'm not a Japan basher."
Lee IacoccaJanuary 1991
"My fondest hope is that Roots may start black, white, brown, red, yellow people digging back their own roots. Man, that would make me feel 90 feet tall."
Alex HaleyJanuary 1977
"I really do plan to get out of show business within five years or so."
Bill CosbyMay 1969
"The popular view of Eisenhower among educated Eastern people was that he was a boob."
Pat MoynihanMarch 1977
"At the moment of climax, there is a oneness with you and your husband and God. When you come together, it's like when the church is brought up to meet Christ in the air."
Anita BryantMay 1978
"I must admit, it would be nice if I had a few more exciting personal qualities than I do."
George McgovernAugust 1971
"The most repulsive thing you could ever imagine is the inside of a camel's mouth. That and watching a girl eat octopus or squid."
Marlon BrandoJanuary 1979
"Ford is a fucking bimbo. Even in that famous picture of him making his own breakfast, he was marmalading the wrong side of his English muffin."
Abbie HoffmanMay 1976
"Giving head to your woman is dangerous because it gives the Devil introduction into the vagina."
Norman MailerJanuary 1968
"Not one man has ever told me I'm beautiful - in my entire life. I think that's what's made me the aggressive wreck I am today."
Joan RiversNovember 1986
"If I die tonight and you wake up tomorrow, don't send flowers. Don't come around with your tears. Picket. Go to PTA meetings. Fight for higher wages. Make the most of it."
Jessie JacksonNovember 1969
"A young man called and said, Dr. Ruth, my girlfriend and I love each other very much. We want to get married.' I said, Good. What's your problem?' He said, My girlfriend likes to toss fried onion rings on my erect penis."
Dr. Ruth WestheimerJanuary 1986
"Black people can't be racist. Black people don't have the power to keep people from getting jobs or the vote.."
Spike LeeJuly 1991
"I'm a genetic mutant."
Dan AykroydMay 1977
"I do have an affinity for damaged people, in life, in roles. I don't know why. We're all damaged in our own way. Nobody's perfect. I think we are all somewhat screwy, every single one of us."
Johnny DeppMay 2004
"The interviewer serves up 1% of himself and the man who answers has to give back 99%."
Norman MailerJanuary 1968
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